Note to self: menswear + pixie haircut + minimal makeup = Meilin looks vaguely like a guy.

I don’t really think there’s anything particularly wrong with that – just that looking like a dude isn’t really what I’m personally after.

I forget what a difference in appearance this new haircut makes for me. With long hair, I really never had to worry about how masculine or feminine I looked; I could go out in guys’ clothing with no makeup and still look very definitively female (maybe not particularly nice, but female). Now, with the pixie cut, I have to be careful to actually wear lipstick, put on earrings – you know, the culturally-determined feminine things – to look feminine.

I guess it especially doesn’t help that the jacket I’m wearing here was found in the boy’s section of a thrift shop, and I’m wearing so many layers of clothing (it was a cold day!) that whatever vague hint of a feminine figure I have is hidden.

In fairness, I’m like, three feet tall, so I don’t think anyone’s ever going to actually mistake me for a male. And if they did, it probably wouldn’t be the end of the world either; I’m just a little self-conscious about how this new haircut makes me look. It’s taking some getting used to, you know?

I think part of it is that I’m going back to being brunette after having had unnaturally-dyed hair so long long. I was so used to seeing myself as long-haired and blonde (though I was shorter-haired and grey for a while) that it’s strange being brunette again – not to mention also having shorter hair than I’ve ever had in my life. I’m thinking I’m going to let it grow out again, though the low-maintenance of a pixie is particularly nice.

Or maybe I’ll dye it some unnatural shade of pink or blue for the fun of it while it’s still so short and easy to manage – because clearly what my chemically-treated hair needs is more chemical treatment!

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Jacket: Thrifted

Sweater: Abercrombie

Shirt: Banana Republic

Leggings: Thrifted (from a second-hand riding apparel store, of all places)

Boots: LL Bean